Jugnu

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It was a starlit night, the lofty mountains embosomed by the darkness and the cold breeze that sneaked through her window reminded Ashima of the emptiness in her life. Ashima was in her mid thirties. Her life was never easy, meeting an accident early in her life she had to drop out from college . After her Abbu’s death she was the sole breadwinner of the family comprising of ammi, widowed sister Zoya and her son Rishab. Ashima brooded over life when a tiny pair of hands clasped her legs and a smile surfaced as Rishu snuggled into her arms. She rested her cheeks on Rishab’s face, held him tightly and swayed along playfully to his amusement.

The lights went off suddenly and they heard a knock outside. Ammi opened the door and informed that the guest their house owner mentioned has arrived.  Ashima was about to get up when a jugnu appeared from the dark, it travelled all the way from window, circled over her head and flew to the main door. It was a belief in kasauli, their village, that a firefly hovered over the head when someone was about to fall in love. Knowing this, Rishu wriggled out of her arms and started clapping his hand:

“khala ko mohabbeth hone wali hai” he shouted and ran to the door with Ashima trailing behind.

She felt embarrassed and angry to see that the visitor had overheard them and was waiting with a smirk, flaunting  dimples through his stubble.

“I am Zayd Abbas Rizvi” The tall figure mentioned and Ashima felt uneasy at his presence.

“Are you married?” Rishab enquired , Zayd  entered into a loud laughter.

Ashima closed Rishab’s mouth and pulled him inside. Zayd saw Ashima’s amputated hand for the first time and stopped laughing abruptly. Ashima realised the awkwardness, “Your room is downstairs” she tried to evade him.

“Help him out, Ashi” Ammi said. Zayd moved down stairs and unwillingly Ashima lighted a lantern and followed him. As she opened the room Ashima could sense his eyes lingering over her. She entered the room , a table was lying blocking her way. She tried to lift it when Zayd moved forward to help her.

“I can mange “She said firmly and zayd backed out. He watched admiringly as Ashima dragged it with her arm and did all the other odd jobs seamlessly.

She placed the lantern on the table and was about to leave.

“jalth hai kiske liye there ankhon ke diye ” Zayd’s voice floated into her ears. Those lines were very familiar and nostalgic to her, she fumbled knocking the lamp. It was about to fall on her when Zayd grabbed it burning his hand.

“Ashima are you trying to pretend to yourself that you don’t recognising me?”

She tried to move past him but he held her hands firmly.

“You disappeared from my life after our accident, because you thought you are going to be a burden for me?” he said.

“Please go away, you deserve better” Tears rolled down her eyes as she nudged him and tried to move away.

zayd pinned her to wall and said  “Ammi passed away recently, she had told me you moved on,  but in death bed she regretfully told me how she had lambasted at you when you came to reply to my first proposal”

He hugged her “Come back Ashi, I need you, it’s not you who need me “.

She couldn’t stop herself anymore and hugged him back .All the chidings drained away in their tears .

 “So here Ashima Khan I invite you once again to my life’ Zayd  held out his hands.

Ashima smiled and placed her special hand in his, as the jugnu gleamed high above them silently.

 

 

 

 

Featured image credit to its owner 🙂

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Valentine’s day -Reality Vs Expectation

2018 has reached mid Feb and we have Valentine’s day around the corner .Valentine day is all about colour red, roses , love and most importantly expressing love. As you all know the whole week has its specific days -hug day , kiss day, but for most of us nothing much happens on those days . As sns constantly keeps reminding us how the world is celebrating,  we hope something special to happen at least on Valentine Day. During school or college days all those single souls silently hope -this year is gonna be special . That one red rose which eluded me all those years shall finally find its way towards me .Those arms of my man/woman shall hold it out to me with cupid’s blessing. If this is the case in school, after marriage things are not very different , we keep hoping for that special gesture from our spouse. Yes  there are pairs both married and unmarried who celebrate valentine day to the fullest. You are Lucky  guys ….happy! ,this is about the rest.

Statutory Warning :Since the protagonist of this writing is female it’s mostly in their point of view and I am sure men have their version of story but since that terrain is unfamiliar i am keeping away from it, maybe next time.

I guess, the saying” men are from mars and women are from venus” was made for such occasion as Valentine day. Yes,  valentine day could be a business strategy developed by a genius but the fact remains that women like attention and like to feel special, this day is just an excuse , Fine !.  Love is not just the feeling alone it also encompass the warmth exuded from its expression, which men just don’t seem to understand. Talking about this expectation there are few categories of women (,ok you are a women with no expectations at all ,good for you, I am talking about rest). First  one is the “silent expector “ group, who takes initiative to keep things up beat in their couple life without any expectation , but for how long ? at the end of it you expect the other person to reciprocate at some point. One of my friend who used to be very enthusiastic about such days , few years into married life, talked about it with apathy. I asked why? .she said for the first valentine day She dressed up, decorated roof top with their pics , bought cake and took great effort . Naturally they did cut the cake and ended the day happily. The problem is when you put your soul into  it our minds tend to expect the other person to invest a certain amount of emotion as well, which some fail to do . We are so used to romantic novels and Yash raj movies so minds tend to  fix the next frame in a certain way ,but what happens in reality is more of an Irfan khan style realistic approach from your better half . The wife may continue for few more years , eventually she will stop  because of no reciprocation or emotional investment from the partner .  So that is the group which silently expect and then wither away.

There are few others who are vocal about their desires and specific about it .So naturally first few year their spouse oblige and execute few surprises , but then fall flat. I don’t know when they know the repercussions why do they take it so lightly. I know few ladies who go out and enjoy with their girl friends because they are pretty sure this day is just another day in office for their husband. I would say fair enough, at least the one who wants to enjoy is enjoying.

Why the process of expressing love does become less after a point .The problem is,after some time we take each other for granted. Especially men in India are brought up or trained to not express their emotions that it almost become their trait . So they find expression of love as dramatic and filmy and they shy away.  Moreover celebration requires little bit of effort which many can’t spare amidst their busy schedule , but guys make that little effort when it means a lot to someone special in your life .Value your partners and don’t take your blessings for granted .Try to enjoy the process yourself , enjoyment and happiness is something which is within you, Obviously when you enjoy then it no more feels like an obligation .  One more thing  i am not propagating “ Valentine day” in particular, “valentine’s day “ was the occasion therefore i referred to it. Be it any special day make it worth remembering in your own special way for you and your dear ones. Innovate , little small things can bring happiness . May be a hand written note , a little gift after a treasure hunt all that can add that spunk to your life . You might find it little dramatic, but my friend love is allowed to be little mushy , but of course the inner feeling is most important .As Charles M. Schulz said” All you need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt”.

Is the probability of luck ½?


Luck 🍀and miracle are two fascinating phenomena … but I would like to talk about luck for now  and spare miracle  this time.

Do you believe in luck ? Do you believe yourself to be lucky?

Even though most of us try to portray ourselves as rational and like to say “I believe in hard work” , many a  times without realising we hope  for  benevolence from that unknown corner in our deciding moment. Some call it hope, faith or its in a way seeking for favor or luck.

Often I wonder what is the funda of “luck“. Is luck the forgery done by destiny to get a destined result?  Is luck something completely abstract and totally controlled from the other world or is it something more realistic which is under the control of human beings.

Is the probability of luck ½?  (Equal chance of winning and losing )

There are moments when we feel the whole universe is conspiring against us.

but then I persuade -“who the hell am I? A tiny particle and still dare to believe the whole universe has time to spare for me!  “.

Which makes me wonder why do some believe themselves to be lucky and others believe to be unlucky .Does that extra favoring from unknown sources or powers really favor some?

This is the reason why I tried to make a logical understanding of it. I have NO intention to give something like” 5 tips to be lucky”, cos I have none .

Instead just sharing few things which were noticed.

One thing I have observed is people who basically believe to be lucky don’t dissect past events and regret. They take things in their stride therefore they concentrate on what is available and make best use of it than bothering about what they were seeking. They are more relaxed and make use of intuitions effectively .They are confident and ready to take risk which provides them with new openings and use them to their advantage.

Whereas the other half try to scrutinize things when something go out of their schedule and try to find  follies .They  concentrate on things what they could have achieved rather than paying attention to what is in their kitty. Over a period they start concentrating in negative perspective and it affects their confidence. Anxiety makes them under confident to take risk and they miss on opportunities by playing safe.

Sometimes I feel life is all about choices, some we make knowingly and some by default .Each event is a lucky draw, right from place of birth, to parents, to everything you keep drawing things from eternity the infinite pool. The favorable draws definitely vary from individual to individual and are not fully in our control, but our thoughts are. The feeling of being lucky/ unlucky is a result of cumulative thought process. So try to accumulate the positives and believe things can happen in your advantage even if it meanders from your plan in mind. As Tennessee Williams said, “Luck is believing you’re lucky.”

 

 

Would definitely like to get your view and opinion on this topic.

 

 

 

Header credit : owner

Different Hues

Down the boulevards, beyond the abstract

There is a deep blue tainted wall of reality

Every girl gets hung out there to be gauged by the clique,

The onlookers came along and computed their traits

The colour, the geometry, all were quantified.

Some were picked not knowing its hankering,

To be stitched on to a montage.

 

Many left, and the wall was almost empty.

Leaving the remnants to wonder what went wrong,

Is it the beauty? Or is it their worth?

Impelling irony to join the beholders.

 

The alteration is needed in notion of folk

That all worth depictions is not dyed in pink,

But some are made of all different hues.

 

 

 

Header credit :To the rightful owner

Perfect Better Halves

via Daily Prompt: Detonate

munnar

The mighty Phoebus galloped along the edges of the mountain

Tracing the silhouette stark of his valorous army

Deployed him on a sturdy pinnacle.

His golden cloak fluttered in ablaze behind.

 

His shimmering sword slayed every eye that lifted to raise a question

Ensuring every eye lid fluttered in concurred.

Every pawn around had a stealthy shadow that traced their path

To guard the loyalty of every being towards his reign.

He encircled terrain all day armoured as hawk,

Until he ebbed away for his alluring queen.

 

She alighted into arena in her silver glow with

Pitch black royal cape embellished with topaz beads.

They smudged into one another, Colouring in each other’s hues that detonate,

Giving away to one another, yet being distinct about ones identity

In a total moment of submission, owning each other

They kissed goodbye in the prepossessing twilight.

Lord made his way for the beauteous lady regnant to her fullest self,

Until the role reversal transpire in the dawn.

They were the perfect better halves ever to be known.

Liebster Award

liebster-award1

I am very thankful to https://shubham14blog.wordpress.com/2017/05/02/liebster-award/, who has nominated me for this award. I appreciate his gesture and suggest everyone to visit his blog.He is an emerging blogger and has some interesting posts in his blog.

The rules of this award:
1. Acknowledge the blog who nominated you and display the award.
2. Answer the 11 questions the blogger gives you.
3. Give 11 random facts about yourself.
4. Nominate 11 blogs.
5. Notify those blogs of the nomination.
6. Give them 11 questions to answer

11 Questions posed upon me by Shubham

  1. Your source of inspiration?

     Nature, anything that  strike  my thought .

  1. Which is the place that you desperately want to visit?

       Singapore

  1. What is your first wish that you will fulfill upon becoming a millionaire?

       Something for underprivileged kids, World tour (for me)

  1. Your most memorable birthday?

      All childhood birthdays

  1. Which is the first name that comes to your mind when i say ‘Music’?

      Michael Jackson

  1. What would you prefer? A trip abroad all alone or a weekend at home with friends?

       Trip abroad all alone because the other i have experienced

  1. Any collection that you are proud of possessing or the one you would like to possess?

       Would like to own A collection of books written by me 😛

  1. What are your plans of a perfect weekend?

      Outing with dear ones and good food

  1. According to you, which is the most irritating task of your daily routine?

      The stagnancy in life

  1. As a kid, which was your favourite TV show?

     Nothing as a kid maybe FRIENDS once I grew up

  1. What can make your anger rise instantly? Can you keep a check on your anger?

     Fakeness..at times I cannot keep a check on my anger

Now, the 11 random facts about me are:

  1. Enjoy Meaningful conversations and humor
  2. Not a great singer but enjoy music
  3. Like reading books ,mainly fiction
  4. People approach me with their problems because I am good listener and is not very judgmental
  5. I do over-think
  6. Fakeness and hypocrisy irks me
  7. Nature lover
  8. would like to have a more positive outlook
  9. Wish to learn a musical  instrument
  10. Like trying new food items and restaurant
  11. Generally appreciate people and sentiments

I would like to nominate the following people:

  1. https://kavarastories.com/
  2. https://peacieb.wordpress.com/
  3. https://mohamadkarbi.com/
  4. https://imaginateweb.wordpress.com/
  5. https://simpleula.com/
  6. http://kayleemarieblog.com/
  7. https://nixondixonblog.wordpress.com/
  8. https://thedivergentpoet.wordpress.com/
  9. https://bibliophilecornerblog.wordpress.com/
  10. https://despiseroffrivolity.wordpress.com/
  11. http://misstalkaholic.com/

    Questions for the nominees:

    1. How you started blogging?
    2. What inspires you to write?
    3. One thing you like about yourself?
    4. Something you wish to change in yourself?
    5. Your favourite music artist?
    6. What do you do to elevate your spirit on a low day?
    7. A book that struck a code in you and would like to suggest? Why?
    8. A destination you would like to visit
    9. All time favourite movie
    10. Your perfect weekend plan?
    11. one thing you wish to do once you  become a millionaire?

It was fun ..Thank you for nomination   .

I am also thankful to :

https://despiseroffrivolity.wordpress.com/2017/05/26/liebster-award/

for nominating me as well  .Thank you 🙂

Unraveling Poetry

 

My last two posts coincidentally have been poems. (Let me tell you I am not an expert on poems or sonnets or technicalities but just someone who enjoy reading and writing it).

I have a set of friends who always give feedback on my write-ups  and I was surprised at the reaction of most of them when  I referred  a poem for their opinion.

They are like “I’m not into poems”, “poem is not my cup of tea”.

They were so reluctant to indulge in poems. It’s like some extravaganza.

 I was taken aback at their apprehension about this genre, “But how can you miss out on this unique worldly pleasure” was my doubt.

It leads me to think why poems or sonnets or that form of writing is different and not every ones cup of tea.This post is you can say, a kind of soliloquy connected to it.

Poems are a kind of weed…its intoxicating .The unknown pleasure of savoring each word in it, the joy of unraveling each layer of hidden thoughts in every line needs to be experienced and can’t be explained. When you hear the lines of Lord Byron  like:

She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that’s best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes .

You can do nothing but fall in the trance of that beauty.

Poems are like sarcasm …if you don’t get the crux behind, it seems to be unappealing and can be even annoying. You just need to have that interest to pick the nuances and deciphering the clues and metaphors which writer has left silently behind. (In short one should have that Sherlock home’s instinct). You just cannot miss a beat.

 In Sylvia Plath poem Metaphor where she states “I’m a riddle in nine syllables” which she follows by seemingly unrelated metaphors  to elephant, a ponderous house, and loaf’s big with its yeasty rising actually refers to her stages of pregnancy.

and when she ends it like:

I’ve eaten a bag of green apples,
Boarded the train there’s no getting off.

It actually makes you ponder what her state of mind is, was she indicating about this irrevocable journey of hers as a new beginning or her indecisiveness to stepping into motherhood. That ambiguity actually gives reader the space to participate and get involved in the creative process of writer through ones imagination.

 Poems have potential to hold volumes in few simple lines. Truly it reiterates the fact brevity is the soul of wit. The three lines by Robert Frost below manages to express a complicated doctrine.

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Freedom of interpretation: The most attractive as well as the tricky dimension about poem is the degree of freedom of interpretations.

The unknown uff! or wow! That spurts when you read  a line impregnated with meaning and soul is truly a pleasure. Leaving with few such lines of William Shakespeare in Sonnet 116 which left me in awe.

 Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Let me not to the marriage of true minds 

Admit impediments. Love is not love 

Which alters when it alteration finds, 

Or bends with the remover to remove. 

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark 

That looks on tempests and is never shaken; 

It is the star to every wand’ring bark, 

Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken. 

Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks 

Within his bending sickle’s compass come; 

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, 

But bears it out even to the edge of doom. 

If this be error and upon me prov’d, 

I never writ, nor no man ever lov’d.