2018 has reached mid Feb and we have Valentine’s day around the corner .Valentine day is all about colour red, roses , love and most importantly expressing love. As you all know the whole week has its specific days -hug day , kiss day, but for most of us nothing much happens on those days . As sns constantly keeps reminding us how the world is celebrating, we hope something special to happen at least on Valentine Day. During school or college days all those single souls silently hope -this year is gonna be special . That one red rose which eluded me all those years shall finally find its way towards me .Those arms of my man/woman shall hold it out to me with cupid’s blessing. If this is the case in school, after marriage things are not very different , we keep hoping for that special gesture from our spouse. Yes there are pairs both married and unmarried who celebrate valentine day to the fullest. You are Lucky guys ….happy! ,this is about the rest.
Statutory Warning :Since the protagonist of this writing is female it’s mostly in their point of view and I am sure men have their version of story but since that terrain is unfamiliar i am keeping away from it, maybe next time.
I guess, the saying” men are from mars and women are from venus” was made for such occasion as Valentine day. Yes, valentine day could be a business strategy developed by a genius but the fact remains that women like attention and like to feel special, this day is just an excuse , Fine !. Love is not just the feeling alone it also encompass the warmth exuded from its expression, which men just don’t seem to understand. Talking about this expectation there are few categories of women (,ok you are a women with no expectations at all ,good for you, I am talking about rest). First one is the “silent expector “ group, who takes initiative to keep things up beat in their couple life without any expectation , but for how long ? at the end of it you expect the other person to reciprocate at some point. One of my friend who used to be very enthusiastic about such days , few years into married life, talked about it with apathy. I asked why? .she said for the first valentine day She dressed up, decorated roof top with their pics , bought cake and took great effort . Naturally they did cut the cake and ended the day happily. The problem is when you put your soul into it our minds tend to expect the other person to invest a certain amount of emotion as well, which some fail to do . We are so used to romantic novels and Yash raj movies so minds tend to fix the next frame in a certain way ,but what happens in reality is more of an Irfan khan style realistic approach from your better half . The wife may continue for few more years , eventually she will stop because of no reciprocation or emotional investment from the partner . So that is the group which silently expect and then wither away.
There are few others who are vocal about their desires and specific about it .So naturally first few year their spouse oblige and execute few surprises , but then fall flat. I don’t know when they know the repercussions why do they take it so lightly. I know few ladies who go out and enjoy with their girl friends because they are pretty sure this day is just another day in office for their husband. I would say fair enough, at least the one who wants to enjoy is enjoying.
Why the process of expressing love does become less after a point .The problem is,after some time we take each other for granted. Especially men in India are brought up or trained to not express their emotions that it almost become their trait . So they find expression of love as dramatic and filmy and they shy away. Moreover celebration requires little bit of effort which many can’t spare amidst their busy schedule , but guys make that little effort when it means a lot to someone special in your life .Value your partners and don’t take your blessings for granted .Try to enjoy the process yourself , enjoyment and happiness is something which is within you, Obviously when you enjoy then it no more feels like an obligation . One more thing i am not propagating “ Valentine day” in particular, “valentine’s day “ was the occasion therefore i referred to it. Be it any special day make it worth remembering in your own special way for you and your dear ones. Innovate , little small things can bring happiness . May be a hand written note , a little gift after a treasure hunt all that can add that spunk to your life . You might find it little dramatic, but my friend love is allowed to be little mushy , but of course the inner feeling is most important .As Charles M. Schulz said” All you need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt”.